I am a 37 old man. I work for a prominent online company in middle management in a company I have worked with for 15 years. I own my own house and car. My parents live nearby in the Home Counties. I enjoy music, reading and gaming. These are all positive things.

Aside from a short period of time when I was 19, I have never had a partner or someone who felt the same way about me that I do about them. I am not hideous or disabled, but I struggle with confidence and anxiety. I have lost friendships through my behaviour. I have avoided social interactions through anxiety. I lost 2 friends through unrequited feelings. I am moody, irritable and quick to snap. Yet at work I am seen as friendly helpful and funny. I have attempted suicide once when I was 20. I think about this daily, yet also wish I had the courage to do so.

I hope what I talk about will help someone and hopefully help me.

Hello there,

As part of managing my anxiety and depression I have been told that writing about it helps.

I Am not sure how to begin, but I shall periodically record my thoughts, feelings and hopefully give an insight into living with depressive feelings for nearly 20 years.

Thanks for reading

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton